You conclude your heart is as fragile as glass. And when it breaks, you can cut.

You will bleed them. Hurt them. For, matter of factly, your heart is no more. And you can feel nothing but the hollowness of your very being and nothing can put the pieces back together.

This is sadness. This is pain.

Immortality...

Death...












This is callousy.
Posted by mi03cah on August 9, 2005 at 04:54 PM as a stickied post | 1 Stakes

When the oceans rise and thunders roar...

 

 I will soar with you above the storm...

 

Father, you are king over the flood...

 

And I will be still and know you are God.
 

Currently feeling: tired
Posted by mi03cah on August 14, 2005 at 07:53 PM | Stake Me...

    As for everyone out there, this life may mean nothing at all. and your just dying for that final breath. that look of peace. the silence. just to end it all. trust me, i've thought about it so many times before. and so many times now.

    What i mean is, everyone, at one point has thought about, is thinking about or will think about going on the edge and just taking yourself out of this world. my tears have been forsaken and blood has been released. my soul forlorn and torn, lies and weeps over everything in this situation; my trepidation. so free me now, unbound from your captivity. your eyes seek comfort in mine which never will give you this. you know i lie, tattered and torn, on bed and cry at night. all because my dreams are dreams that will stay dreams. because my pains are pains that will keep on. because my journey's not over and i shall strive. at one point, maybe die.

     I am stuck in one big blurr. a never-ending wheel of torment. a ceaseless endeavor for rest. for once that happiness has shown itself, it dies too quickly and sorrow lasts too long.

     Everyday, i wake up and tell myself today will be different. everyday, i hope. that maybe someday, it would all just end and maybe i would be alright. Coz i know enithing can happen. there's always just that spark. that will send you to put down that knife and think this over.

 

it's just one big blurr...

 

only one big blurr...

 

 

 

and it'll end...  it'll end someday...

 

 

 

 

 

...not time yet...

 

I wait.


 

Currently feeling: enigmatic
Posted by mi03cah on August 14, 2005 at 07:37 PM | Stake Me...
Looking back, I cannot recall how we suddenly fell; where it all exactly started.

I have flashes here and there; how I’d rest on his back as he flew, sparing frequent glances at me as he made his way to his castle. He showed me around his home, halting to a stop at the library as I read. Once the book was down, I remember how I almost let him take me. Almost.
I stopped him and I saw a glimmer of disappointment in his eyes, although he shrugged it off nonchalantly enough. Later, I’d realize that it seemed to reflect my own regret, my own want, my own need.
The feel of his tongue on my flesh haunted me for days on end and I was afraid. The burning fire was consuming my very being inch by inch, little by little, second by second, minute by minute and hour by hour. I was craving for him, wanting for him and needing for him; the feeling of cold against warm, dead against live and vampire against…what I know I am.

This experience was later followed by another, bringing the same identical fire that ignited within my soul as we sat there at the kiosk. His hands slid down my back and his lips made me weak as it met my nape. I could feel my entire body tremble under his fingers. My heart beat grew faster like a drum going off-key. And I felt no shame, no guilt, nor any hesitation whatsoever. I surrendered completely.
“I’m not even using my frost”
“Maybe you don’t need to.”

After that incident I realized that my fear had been smothered and I was completely at bliss. Yet I felt no contentment. The mere thought of him taking me, groping me, devouring me, has left me completely paralyzed. I want to know what he is really able to do with my body, my skin, my heart, my soul.
The lust in me is great but nothing surpasses the love in me. Love has taken over my fear and I long for it to grow; to make the love in me grow. Faire l’amour avec Drac.

And it is only now that I take into account that he has quenched the burning fire inside of me…

…only to ignite another.
Currently feeling: damned
Posted by mi03cah on July 23, 2005 at 02:47 PM | Stake Me...
The stench of the crimson liquid poured out into the sky, painting everything red. The cries of anguish filled the air. To some it was a great loss and to others, a victory that could never be surpassed. I was seated on the veranda’s railing, adoring the spectacular bloodshed and carnage as the humans, foolish and moronic, did their best to fend of my army, the vampyres.
The Adroiter at lead and I beside my lover, we watched silently as William fought with all his strength and power to keep our line going. He was different from everyone else. He didn’t have wings, his forehead went into a strange feature as he morphed and his demon looked almost human, and yet…
…he was stronger than most vampyres who existed.
Vladislaus; yes, such past we had together. I couldn’t resist. His charm was impeccable and I could not withstand it.
My body betrayed me as his hand lightly touched my neck. I tilted it to one side, giving him complete access.
He complied as his teeth lengthened and his fangs sharpened and his tongue slithered its way to my neck, tracing my jaw carefully, sending cold shivers through my veins as my knees grew weak and my spine gave into leaning on his chest.
He paused abruptly, making me want him more than I already did, “Marvelous, isn’t it?”
My voice was husky as I spoke through ragged breathing, “Yes…it is…Vladislaus.”
His smile showed his fang once more as he slowly, gently sunk into my skin.
I flinched a little before I passed out into a blissful sleep.

I awoke. My mind was clouded with images and sceneries that I couldn’t understand. I didn’t know where they came from and I was alone, covered in blood, on the rough ground.
I couldn’t remember what happened before then.
I stood up slowly and saw the battle ground. My heart sped up as I watched the last vampyre devour the last human.
Funny how I cared not at all for the human race; after all, I was only half of what I am and even whole vampyres were once part of the day-walkers.
He let the body drop; completely drained, seeing as to how blood never pooled around it. Then he went over and took my hand.
“We better get you back. You’re a mess. The Master will have my head on a silver platter the second he sees you looking like this.” His voice was low and topped off by an accent so familiar, I couldn’t even begin to comprehend.
I nodded slightly and then allowed him to lead the way.
There was no hesitation at all and for a while, it scared me.
For a while…
But then a different emotion took place as his thumb created small circling moves on the back of my hand. The gentleness of his caress was far too great.

A scream echoed inside my head then vanished as quickly as it appeared.

“What was that?” I asked.
“What was what?”
“That sound...”
His eyes glued to my unfocused ones as I kept pondering on the thought, “I didn’t hear anything.”
“It was…someone screamed. A woman.”
“I heard nothing.”
“I heard it…in my head…the woman…she…sounded so scared.”
His brows furrowed as he studied me closely. I took no amount of fear in it, “Well, whatever it was, it’s gone now. You can stop thinking about it, Mika. You know how eerie this town can get.”
“Yes. You’re right.”
“That was a quite a fall you did back there. What happened to you?”
“Fall? I…don’t remember.”
“You don’t remember…?”
“What’s your name?”
There was a long silence between us before he spoke again, “Did he do anything to you?”
“What’s your name?” I repeated.
His sigh was long and heavy. It was unneeded but it was done, “William. Now tell me every single thing you remember before you woke up.”
“Vladislaus.”
“What about him?”
“We were…watching at a distance and…he…pricked me…”
“Pricked you.”
“Yes…right here.” I showed him my neck and the scar that laid on it.
“Bloody hell…” he paused, eyeing the scar, “What else do you remember?”
“Nothing.”
“So, you don’t remember how you fell off the veranda?”
“No. I don’t…”
“Best left anyways.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that you don’t have to know. It would be better if you don’t.” He answered.
Again, I nodded. But then my vision went black.
Currently feeling: damned
Posted by mi03cah on July 23, 2005 at 02:44 PM | Stake Me...
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